Wednesday, 6 March 2013

Inside my warped mind.

So much going through my head right now.
Just the usual and so much more.

I had my first mental "meltdown" at work this week.
I am happy that I spoke "out loud" about it but also realise that they now know about my insecurities and low self esteem.
I will not explain my thoughts about it on here.
You will all yell at me.
After a discussion with my "boss" yesterday, I think I have cleared up and moved on from my concerns about being "worthy" of my new role.
Silly I know .........

I am also loving the newest member of our family.
Levi (aka Steve) reminds me so much of my first "baby", Barney the golden labrador.
He is beside me constantly, intelligent, happy and still has a lot of fun in him, despite his age.
Scott said I have established a great "affinity" with him and I am so glad that we saved him from the animal shelter.

Assessing, comparing and analysing different peoples lives around the world has been at the front of my mind recently.
The way they are, the way they live and their battles compared to our own.
I find it very sad that over $80million dollars was spent on the recent Academy Awards in America and yet we have millions of people dying from starvation.
$80 million dollars that could have been given to the so many countries that do not have enough food or water to keep their citizens alive.

My memory bank is overflowing with images of not only Amelia's life but also Tom's.
Every smile, laugh, conversation is a reminder of what we have now.
The memories of a baby rolling and kicking in my tummy, the birth and the very first eye to eye contact are something I will remember forever.
The fact that I am able to have forever the memory of 3 weeks in Disneyland and the happiness that created.
(Maybe we are as bad as those who attend and organise the Academy Awards).

But across the world, a mother is watching her child die because she cannot feed it or provide clean drinking water.

The comment "there is always someone worse off than you" does not seem to be powerful enough in this kind of comparison.

Please be grateful for what you have.
I know I am.

Have a great day everyone.