Friday, 22 July 2011

Now for the positives......

Before I go away to try and find my sanity, I have pulled myself out of my self - absorbed moment long enough to document the positives of this week.

1. Our final "formal" Amelia's Project meeting for 2011.
Reflecting on all the good that has happened this year.
These are too numerous to mention but my MAIN one would be realising the good in people and how many friends we are so lucky to have.

2. Next week I pick up my brand new X-Trail.
We have chosen a new colour and I thank Scott for working so hard to make it all happen so quickly.

3. Peter Bromley has booked for our second "Amelia's Night".
Saturday 4th August 2012.

4. Met some amazing people at The Langwarrin Business Network AGM.
Can definately see a relationship between the LBN and Amelia's Project in the future.

Now I know there is more BUT I must go to continue fighting to get Travel Insurance for Amelia.
2 Rejections so far (from 1 company).
Now speaking to others.

NO Travel Insurance = NO Disneyland.......


Thursday, 21 July 2011

Lost the plot.......Part 2

To begin with tonight, I would like to ask everyone to take a minutes silence.
During this 60 seconds please spare a thought for my husband, Scott and my dad, Neil.

Unfortunately I have been very difficult to be around this week.
Imagine crying, neurotic, angry, short tempered, irrational and incredibly tired.
There are MANY reasons for my behaviour and it is easy to understand why I turn to two of the most important men in my life for help.

Probably just wanting them to "fix it all".

They have both been very understanding and supportive while I have been "losing it" while on the phone to them.

So now I am being sent away.
Not to a mental institution, where I feel I would be welcomed right now, but to my parents flat in the city.
My husband has ordered me to go Friday night and not return till Sunday night.

Amelia said "Mum. Go to the flat, so that you can come back happy".

So.....Lets just add Mother Guilt to my instable mind right now............


Tuesday, 19 July 2011

Lost the plot

This morning I have had a good cry.
No reason for it.
Just obviously needed to.

Then I opened my emails.
Scott had sent me the one below.
I now cannot stop crying....from laughing hysterically.
Either I have lost the plot OR this is seriously funny.
Maybe it is just my sense of humour, but I wanted to share it with you all.
Maybe it will give you a laugh too.



After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.

Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.
Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

Yesterday my wife received the following letter from the local Target:

Dear Mrs. Harris

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot
tolerate this behaviour and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our
complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our
video surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts
when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in House
wares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and
receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance,
causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on lay-by.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers
he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department
to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed,
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

9.. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he
picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where
the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission
Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using
different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME!

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position
and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least:

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very
loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.

Sunday, 17 July 2011

Reflection = Flat

Three posts this weekend.
I am on a roll !!

Feeling very FLAT tonight.
No real reason for it.
Just reflecting on the year that our family has had to endure and thinking about what is happening to Amelia.

Our holidays have been very busy and the last 2 days have been spent inside, at home.
We have had many visitors and some yummy meals arrive (thank you Emma and Dianne) but it has also been a time of sitting back and thinking.

I do not like thinking.
I do not like just sitting and watching my daughter struggle with EVERYTHING.
It is shit actually.

I do not like closing my eyes and seeing a bus driving towards our car.
I do not like actually thinking "my time is up".
I do not like watching Amelia cry when she has to go in the car.

To sit and think about how we are losing Amelia.........and we are actually watching it crap.

We all know that I will wake up in the morning and will have "moved on" from these thoughts.
But right now ........ I know I need to have these thoughts.
I need to process them to get back to the happy place.
Where life is precious.
And where my destiny is to create an amazing life for an amazing little girl.

MY little girl.

I think part of my mood is tomorrow night.
We will be having our last Amelia's Project meeting for 2011.
It will begin again next year, but this year is when it all began.
Learning about A-T, Amelia's Project, experiencing every emotion imaginable.........our WHOLE life has changed this year.
And tomorrow night, I feel like something really special is ending.
Something that kept me occupied.
Something that gave more support, friendship and love than I ever thought possible.

I want to give everyone there something.
But I do not know what could possibly show my appreciation for everything.............