Tuesday, 12 June 2012

Home Video's PART 2

This a continuation from my previous blog.

After watching many home video's on Saturday night something horrible happened yesterday.

It has made me question whether I really want footage like this shown on August 4th.
Amelia's Project is proud of the fact that we created a night full of laughter and happiness.
A celebration of life itself.

I have experienced depression and anger over the last 24 hours.

I have only just realised the NEED to make this DVD.
So much more so than I previously thought.

It needs to go on You tube.
It needs to be shown all over the world.

Ataxia Telangiectasia needs to be shown for what it is.

What happened yesterday?
Amelia happened to watch some of the home video footage.
We were teasing her for "hogging" the camera from Tom.

As she began crying and angrily saying "TURN IT OFF",
I asked whether it was because we were teasing her.

"No" she said quietly.
"I just want to be like that"...........

The whole room went quiet.
The tears rolled....

It is very difficult to see any positives in our situation today.
The reality of it all is just crap.


Sunday, 10 June 2012

Home Video's

Plans are well underway for the Amelia night on August 4th.

One feature of the night is a DVD that I have requested Belinda help me make.

I would like to make a DVD with snippets of Amelia growing up.
I want to show her at various times in her very short life so far.
Talking, walking, running and eating.

Tonight I began the major task of choosing the footage from our home video's.

I knew that it would be time consuming BUT I do not know how I could be so incredibly niave to not think how heartbreaking it would be.

For the last three hours I have been watching movie after movie.
Movies of Amelia dancing.......without falling.
Getting up off the ground (one legged) with ease.
Talking non stop and so very, very clearly.

We are constantly telling HER at 4 and 5 years old to let Tom have a turn on the camera.

Amelia is jumping, hopping and making tiny things with playdough.

Everything I have mentioned above she cannot do now.

Comparing then to now has shattered me.
The difference is like I am looking at another totally different child.

I do not think there will be a greater understanding of what A-T does to a child than this video we will make.