Why is it that some people, (me being one), do not allow themselves time to just rest ?
I am lucky that I have a place to get away to in the city when everything becomes too much.
A place where I can just eat, drink, sleep, read and watch TV.
But I do not "allow" myself to do this in my own home.
On Monday night, after Amelia's birthday celebrations, I collapsed in a heap.
Everyone had gone home or gone to bed and I found myself paralysed on the couch.
(And for those that know me too well, it was not due to alcohol!).
I actually lay there in great pain all over my body and feeling so exhausted in my head and could not work out how I was going to make it to bed.
Eventually I made it.
I realised in the 2 seconds before I fell asleep that I had pushed myself too hard this time.
I could not ever remember feeling this exhausted.
Is this how Amelia feels everyday?
This was only one moment in time for me but I realised this is probably how she feels at the end of everyday.
I decided while I lay there I would do something about it the next day.
So the day after, (yesterday) ,I decided to have a "mental health day".
My beautiful cousin taught me this term recently when she told she was having one.
It is for when you have been pushing the limits too far and you need to rejuvenate.
Yesterday I was incapable of doing anything anyway.
My whole body and mind had shut down.
Rather than try to fight it, I decided to allow myself 1 day.
If anyone had of visited they would have thought I had succumbed to depression.
At one stage I was walking around the house, (looking for Honey!), with a big blanket wrapped around my shoulders.
But I watched two movies.
I can actually say that I have never sat and watched a movie during the day before.
It was almost like an "out of body experience".
My usual analytical thoughts took over later in the day and I realised how I had deprived myself of this time to just........be.
Honey and Scamp slept on top of me most of the day and I was able to watch two awesome movies.
So I think I have learnt something very important about myself now.
I am also very proud of myself for "allowing" myself to have such a wonderful day.
Now I have done lots of errands this morning, I have the fire going and I am going to watch a movie before school pick up.
Mental Health Days are awesome !!!!