Waffling

I think I have ADHD.
No offence to anyone that does or has a child with this condition, but I genuinely cannot stop at the moment.

I cannot stop moving.
I cannot stop thinking.

Many of you remember when I set up my "Fairy Stardust" business.
For 6 months, I researched, wrotes many notes, ordered business cards and began basic advertising.
It was fun while it lasted and gave us some extra money.
(I dressed up as a fairy and entertained children at parties etc).

Now after beginning work at endota and ABSOLUTELY loving it, someone has suggested that I consider setting up a motivational/inspirational talk with visual aids (eg powerpoint).
I could advertise to give talks at conferences etc.

Public speaking has never been a problem for me when it comes to nerves.
My entries on here have more than enough information to create a speech.

Please let me know what you think of this idea, constructive criticism and ideas are very welcome.

This week, I have worked 14 hours at endota.
The office is bright and uplifting.
People talk, smile and laugh.
You are "forced" to rest and take a break (because I am only working 4 hours a day, I argue it is not needed for me).
The employees are happy and positive.
Someone is always offering to go and get coffees from next door and I have already come home with two "presents".

While preparing gift vouchers today for Christmas orders, I found myself thinking about the 2 girls that originally established this company.
Two girls that were my friends at school.
As I looked around the office, I found myself feeling a massive sense of admiration.
Two "normal" girls that have created this amazing business that has franchises all over Australia.
I found myself feeling so proud of them and all that they have achieved.

Amelia has announced that she does not like me working.
"You should be staying home and looking after the animals" she said when I asked her "why?".
I have ensured that the hours do not interfere with either child at all.
10am - 2pm means that I am here when they go to school and also when they return.
The house may be a mess and I may only have dry biscuits to eat, but I am still personally here for them like I always have been.
Upon further discussion we realise Amelia considers me her stability.
Possibly with her deterioration, my constant presence is comforting to her.
Her relationship with Scott and Tom is just as strong and beneficial but she finds comfort knowing that I am always at home.

It is hard to explain to a child that staying at home and doing the same tasks every day, every week......over and over and over can become quite lonely.
The dishwasher, tidying the house, clothing washloads can become depressing.
I have been home every day for 4 years.
A lot of my friends would LOVE to do what I do.
.........And this is where the ADHD comes into it.
Over the last few years I have kept myself busy.
My positive feelings have been created from organising the house, seeing friends, cooking and even writing this blog.
Now I have been given the chance to be in a new environment that is happy, really happy.
I am recieving compliments and praise.
Two years ago I decided to devote myself to Amelia (and Scott and Tom).
The realisation that I would never work again hurt but Amelia was more important than anything else in the world and I wanted to enjoy every single moment with her.
But now I have been given the chance to work during hours that no one is at home with me......

I feel really good (and am going to sign off now because I am waffling!!).

xxx