Suck it up Princess

As many parents would be experiencing right now in Australia, I am just so tired.

The very long summer holidays in Australia are taking their toll on me.

I have been very fortunate to have Scott home with us a lot of the time but this past week has been very difficult.

I have been extremely spoilt over the last 11 months.
5 days a week I have had time to myself (well some weeks).
I did not sit and watch television but I had time to think, do, create and replenish in silence.

In my effort to go to the bank today and then drive to another destination to return some unwanted goods I realised (again) how difficult this simple task is for us.
Wheelchair, assistance in and out of the car......just to do a 5 minute task at each place.

Assistance eating, dressing, toileting and moving anywhere is draining.
The constant need to be near me, hold my hand, cuddle or just "talk" is wonderful....... but there is no break.

I am tired.

Amelia means the world to me but I have also learnt to appreciate her special school even more now.

I can understand right now why parents need a break.
My appreciation and admiration of single parents with special needs children has grown immensly.

Tom has been a wonderful help on so many occasions (apologies to the stuck up ladies at "Adairs" that Tom was wheeling her around your store while mummy looked at things) but he has also had many "moments" of ......... well frustration and arguments from my end.

Do not get me wrong.
We have had glorious holidays and I have treasured every minute of our time together.

I am just worn out.

Tomorrow Amelia and I leave to stay at Very Special Kids.
(It is Take 2 after last time).
Tom and Scott will be having valuable time together at home.

I have packed books, DVD's, magazines and Amelia's computer.
My accomodation is 1 minute away from Amelia's.
Chadstone Shopping Centre is just up the road and lots of resturaunts in easy walking distance.

I hope to repeat my mantra many times and remind myself of it's meaning before we come home.

"Instead of trying to find shelter from the storm...........learn how to dance in the rain".

The words are perfect for us.

I am just so tired.......

xxx

Inspiring

"Hold them, love them and enjoy every moment together".

Thank you for sharing your story Brooke Hanson.

So many tears and so much inspiration......

We WILL do the above.
We Do have the time.

http://video.au.msn.com/watch/video/baby-jack/xpn3syl

xxx

Home.

Wow.
7 hours is a VERY long way to drive.
BUT we have had the most wonderful, relaxing holiday, with the most wonderful and "down to earth" people.

Thank you to our gorgeous neighbours (Dianne and Paul) for EVERYTHING they did while we were gone.
You do not often meet such beautiful people that will help out with animals while you are away.
They also assisted when we were in America.
It makes a holiday so much more relaxing if you know everyone at home is being spoilt.

Thank you also to my brother.
The watering, living and feeding once he returned from camping is also well appreciated.

2013 started like any other day.
2012 ended like any other day.

We read, we swam, we cooked, we laughed and we smiled.....constantly.
Pure Bliss.

We are so very grateful to our Mildura family and our community back home.

I do not know if any of them will ever realise the holiday we just enjoyed.

Now we have returned there is some of the old and some of the new...........

We are all exhausted and recovering.
The unpacking is monstrous.
There is no pool !

But we have a new family member.
Most people will shake their heads.

BUT we are who we are.

We have welcomed a new family member into our family.
He was going to be "put to sleep".
This kelpie/labrador is 8 years old (so they say).

Yesterday the whole family made the decision to "save him".

He has fitted in beautifully.
The other animals do not faze him.
He just loves companionship.

Loyalty.

He quietly follows us everywhere.

As a family we discussed giving him a home in his remaining years.

He is toilet trained.
He is placid.
He deserves to live.

This will be his home now.
Not the cage or the green needle ...........

Oh.....and his name is STEVE.

Cannot stop laughing about that one.....

Rest and relaxation

Hello from sunny AND hot Mildura.

On December 27th, we drove 7 hours to get here.
In a few hours we will be home.

A few months ago, I rang Scott's cousin that lives here and asked if we could come and stay.
By the end of the conversation, we were coming to "house sit".

At the moment we all feel like the "luckiest" family in the whole wide world.
The house is a mansion.
It is magnificently decorated.
The gardens are immaculate.
And the "piece a resistante"........there is a massive pool outside the back door.

The setting for our "holiday" could not have been any better.

Scott has many family members that live around Mildura and the hospitality we have been shown is indescribable.

Amelia and Tom had a wonderful afternoon driving around in a boat.
Tom and I even attempted knee boarding!

The food, the fun and the relaxation has been well needed.

The lifestyle is unlike anything at home.
I am coming home with many "creative ideas" for our own home environment.

Our animals at home have been well looked after by my awesome brother, as has the house and garden.

Amelia has struggled with the heat, late nights and social stimulation.........
but as always she recovers the next day.

Amelia, Tom, Scott and I have each had our own memorable experiences to last a long time.

Happy 2013 everyone.
We are looking forward to sharing our lives with you over the next 12 months.

xxx

Merry Christmas 2012

It is with great pleasure that I wish you all a magical Christmas.....from my family to yours.

As my children lay in bed giggling (yes, they have requested to sleep in the same room tonight!), I remember with fond memories the excitement of Christmas Eve for a child.

At our house, the reindeer food is out and the "runway" ready to help them find the their way.

Santa has shortbread and a beer ready and a beautifully written letter from two very grateful children.

Now as we prepare for Santa's arrival, I would like to wish every single individual that reads this blog a wonderful Christmas.

May you also have an inspiring and healthy 2013

Thank you for listening.
Thank you for being there.

We look forward to sharing our "life" with you all in 2013.

Love now, forever and always

Amanda, Scott, Amelia and Tom

xxx

Reflection again

As another year comes to a close, I am reminded (yet again) of what is important.

The shooting massacre in Newtown, Conneticut has affected me profoundly.
The children that died were the same age as our son, Tom.
The children's personalities are being described as the same as Tom.
"Mischievious, cheeky, loved football".

Once again, I very grateful that we have been given this time with Amelia.
Time to prepare and time to give.
Time to share and time to spoil.

It will not happen in a second for us.

The parents of these children.........I just grieve for.
Presents not given.
Celebrations to never be celebrated.

If only he had of just shot himself BEFORE he shot all of those beautiful children and teachers.

Those teachers that chose to "hide" their children and when the gunman appeared pretended they were elsewhere..........only to then be gunned down themselves.

It is wrong.......very,very wrong.

I have the time.
I have the time to spend with my child.
I have the time to create the most amazing life.

I also have the time to ensure that her 6 year old brother lives life to the maximum.

Yesterday Tom brought home a report that made us so proud.
.....But anything would have made us proud.

In so many areas, Tom is at least 6 months ahead in his developement.
I am grateful that the teaching staff noticed this.

I am grateful that HE is proud of himself.

But he is happy and that is the most important thing.

Tomorrow I will be atteding the funeral of a very dear friends mother.
This "friend" came and cleaned my house when we returned from hospital 2 years ago.
She know me so well, she knew that I would need the house cleaned to try and clear my mind.......to try and cope with Amelia's very new diagnosis.

Now she is about to enter the first Christmas without her mother.
The very person that brought her into this world.
I hope that I can add a small amount of suport to her farewell.

Today Amelia brought home a box called "All about ME".
The word "happiness" had to be explained in class by each individual.

They described their favorite toys and destinations.

Amelia said "cuddling mum".

I cried.

Something so simple and yet so powerful.

I will cuddle you every moment of everyday baby girl.

Enjoy the lead up to Christams everyone and appreciate what you are so lucky to have.

xxx

Waffling

I think I have ADHD.
No offence to anyone that does or has a child with this condition, but I genuinely cannot stop at the moment.

I cannot stop moving.
I cannot stop thinking.

Many of you remember when I set up my "Fairy Stardust" business.
For 6 months, I researched, wrotes many notes, ordered business cards and began basic advertising.
It was fun while it lasted and gave us some extra money.
(I dressed up as a fairy and entertained children at parties etc).

Now after beginning work at endota and ABSOLUTELY loving it, someone has suggested that I consider setting up a motivational/inspirational talk with visual aids (eg powerpoint).
I could advertise to give talks at conferences etc.

Public speaking has never been a problem for me when it comes to nerves.
My entries on here have more than enough information to create a speech.

Please let me know what you think of this idea, constructive criticism and ideas are very welcome.

This week, I have worked 14 hours at endota.
The office is bright and uplifting.
People talk, smile and laugh.
You are "forced" to rest and take a break (because I am only working 4 hours a day, I argue it is not needed for me).
The employees are happy and positive.
Someone is always offering to go and get coffees from next door and I have already come home with two "presents".

While preparing gift vouchers today for Christmas orders, I found myself thinking about the 2 girls that originally established this company.
Two girls that were my friends at school.
As I looked around the office, I found myself feeling a massive sense of admiration.
Two "normal" girls that have created this amazing business that has franchises all over Australia.
I found myself feeling so proud of them and all that they have achieved.

Amelia has announced that she does not like me working.
"You should be staying home and looking after the animals" she said when I asked her "why?".
I have ensured that the hours do not interfere with either child at all.
10am - 2pm means that I am here when they go to school and also when they return.
The house may be a mess and I may only have dry biscuits to eat, but I am still personally here for them like I always have been.
Upon further discussion we realise Amelia considers me her stability.
Possibly with her deterioration, my constant presence is comforting to her.
Her relationship with Scott and Tom is just as strong and beneficial but she finds comfort knowing that I am always at home.

It is hard to explain to a child that staying at home and doing the same tasks every day, every week......over and over and over can become quite lonely.
The dishwasher, tidying the house, clothing washloads can become depressing.
I have been home every day for 4 years.
A lot of my friends would LOVE to do what I do.
.........And this is where the ADHD comes into it.
Over the last few years I have kept myself busy.
My positive feelings have been created from organising the house, seeing friends, cooking and even writing this blog.
Now I have been given the chance to be in a new environment that is happy, really happy.
I am recieving compliments and praise.
Two years ago I decided to devote myself to Amelia (and Scott and Tom).
The realisation that I would never work again hurt but Amelia was more important than anything else in the world and I wanted to enjoy every single moment with her.
But now I have been given the chance to work during hours that no one is at home with me......

I feel really good (and am going to sign off now because I am waffling!!).

xxx