Decision Time ........

Firstly let me begin with the onions........

They have failed me.

Either it really is a myth or the infection was too strong to overcome.
Amelia has croup.

Today I was a good mum AND a bad mum for the same situation.

Amelia had croup last night badly.
But today was her only school excursion for the whole year.
So after telling her she couldn't go ...... and holding her while she sobbed, I heard the cough go from a bark to a normal cough. I knew that she would spend the rest of the day with a normal cough and cold.
So I decided to send her.
She begged me to put in my blog the amount of "effort" she would proudly use to get throught the day !!!
So after having her at the doctors, upon her return, she is now on the couch. Happily sick, exhausted and content from her day.

Now for the BIG stuff.

Two issues have been first and foremost on my mind this week.

We have three options for the "renovations".
1.Renovate the current home.
2.Buy a more open plan home to accomodate a electric wheelchair.
3.Build a home to do the above.

At the moment I am looking at all of the options available to us and hoping to make the best decision for the future.

At the moment a substantial amount of renovations would be needed.
Imagine narrow hallways and lots of right hand turns through narrow doorways.
To find an established house that would be suitable is difficult.
To build........well anyone that has built knows that we will require lots of money and stress.
I do not like the thought of packing up a whole house to move either.

But we also want to be suitably prepared for the future.
Before the bathrooms are renovated.

Numerous experts have suggested us thinking about it.
So we are.
Well I am and Scott is very stressed about it.

My other decision is extremely personal.
I was worried about revealing too much earlier this week......
well this will really "tip the boat".

All year, I have made a concious effort to open the idea of having another baby.

Ok.
I will give you a minute to get over the shock.

So many implications, precautions and procedures would be needed to concieve, but would it be better in the long run?

My thinking is mainly directed at Tom.

At some stage in the future, he will be on his own.
No Amelia, no mum, no dad.
Do we need to prepare for the fact that he will be on his own?

I can guarantee that a baby would also bring great happiness to our household.
But it will also bring great stress, exhaustion and time.
Sleep deprivation, the fact I only have one pair of hands, and trying to push a wheelchair and a pram.

Hmmmmmmmm.

Big decisions.

Will I regret that I have taken away some of Amelia's time of interaction and amazing life or do I regret not having another to protect Tom and safeguard us.

The embryo would have to go through IVF.
Scott has had a vasectomy so ...... (men cringe at how they would get the egg).
The egg would need to be tested and inserted.

Hmmmmmmm

But remember my motto?
No regrets at the end.

These decisions have made me abnormal this week.
(Yes, more so than usual!).

But today I think I had an epiphany.....

How bad are these questions?

Am I deciding whether to turn someone's life support off?
Am I dying and need to decide on the appropriate treatment to survive?

NO.

Moving and building can be done.
Another baby into our family is also possible.

So I and We will decide in the future and let you know of our decision.

And please do me a favour?
Next time you are stressing over a decision.....
please think about whether it is over life or death or whether it may be a risk that is exciting.
Or something that is really not that bad.......

It is really not such a bad thing to decide on.

You will not die from it.

xxx