12 months ago.....

This week will be 12 months since Amelia's hospital visit.

5 days of tests that changed our world forever.

We were admitted on December 6th and discharged on December 10th.

On that final day we were told to "go home and cherish what time we had with her".

In the past 12 months so many amazing things have happened BUT I will never, ever forget that week.

Staying in hospital with Amelia the entire time was difficult.
The showering, toileting and food.
But it was nothing compared to what happened to Amelia.

Holding my child down for many tests and then slowly hearing information that will devastate and change anything I ever thought.

The tears were endless.
I told Amelia it was because I was tired.

My memory is not very good, BUT I will remember every single moment of those 5 days forever.

When we arrived home I did not cope well.
The tears would not stop and my body felt lifeless.
I wandered around the house in a haze.

Today we set up our Christmas decorations for 2011.......
Amelia has not stopped asking to do it for 10 days.
Last year, she also insisted we decorate after we arrived home from hospital.
Amelia had no idea about what A-T was.
She just knew she had it.
Scott and I had to dig very deep to find the energy and happiness Amelia wanted to get ready for Christmas.

I was going to also mention tonight about all the wonderful things that have occured in the past year.......
But I can't.

I think I need to just work through my memories.
Remember the week we were told our 7 year old daughter had a terminal illness...........

xxx