On Sunday night I wrote a very depressive blog.
I realise that it is part of our "journey" and the feelings that make me "human", but I still do not like entering that world.
It is easier to get up in the morning and get through every day if we are looking at the positives in our lives.
I have a daughter dying slowly
I am SO lucky to have this little girl in my everyday life.
Which is better to live by?
It is easier to "carry on" with the latter version.
Well I believe anyway.
I also understand that we need to look at the "negative side" to stay grounded.
Last weekend we were presented with the negative side.
And we needed to be.
We have to make major changes..........
Amelia needs her self esteem, self-confidence and independence if she is going to have an "amazing life".
And our house, car and outings need to provide this for her.
But I needed this depression.
I needed the crying.
I needed to sit alone to accept THIS is happening.
Amelia has declined and we need to make changes to EVERYTHING.
We are REALLY on the pathway to losing our baby now.
I still cry now writing this BUT I am more accepting of it.
Recently I have had the pleasure of two newly diagnosed A-T families contacting me.
They found me through this blog.
We are like family.
A-T families will ALWAYS be together.
There is no judgement or assumption.
We understand each other.
But then there are the others........
My friend who is struggling with panic attacks.
My friend who's daughter has just been diagnosed with a learning disorder.
The mother of a child who's diagnosis is parallel with Amelia's.
These people have all contacted me.
I am absolutely honoured that ANY of the people mentioned above thought to TELL me.
I was always a friend to those in need and I always will be.
I had a BIG "falling out" with a family member on the weekend.
My dad always taught me "that your friends are just as crucial and important as your family".
I think the last 15 months have proved that.
Thank you to everyone in MY life.
But I say through many tears (healthy ones).......
if you are ever, ever, struggling please contact a friend..........
Many times this week I have played this song.
Please click the link and LISTEN to the words.