Monday, 3 September 2012

D day

Tomorrow is D day (or pink motorised wheelchair day!!!).

At 9am tomorrow Amelia is having her brand new $17,000 pink wheelchair delivered to her Special School.

It is so exciting (escpecially her enthusiasm right now) but it is also another part of the journey for Scott and I.

You see, Amelia cannot walk now without us.
It is extremely unsafe.
She is falling out of bed each night.
She cannot toilet on her own or feed herself.

The kindness, quick wit and compassion is still there but she is very sad 50% of each day (and it is usually when we have her.......exhausted).
I think I will start looking into medication for her soon.

I can understand her frustration and sadness because I experience it daily too, but I put 100% into putting on a "happy face" and assisting her every minute she is back with us.
You see, because she is so "thoughtful" of others it would upset her greatly to know how much I struggle watching this happen.......24 hours a day / 7 days a week.

That is where these "blogs" help me release negative energy.
The people around me also have a massive impact on my overall demeanor.

Very difficult to watch someone lose all their "skills".

Anyway , back on track ........

Tomorrow the wheelchair AND Wednesday the car !!!!!!
Cannot wait.

I will have both children at the car conversion place for approximately 6 hours.
(Teachers strike at school for Tom).
Hopefully I can entertain the kids for that long!

On Saturday night we will be having a "Wheelchair Party" to celebrate it's arrival.
What began with just one family attending, is now at about 10 families !!!!

Amelia is excited to proudly "show off " her chair.

Last weekend I attended my second 20 year reunion for high school (yes I went to 2 high schools).
I thought it may be difficult considering I left there with "no friends" (consider an anxious teenage brain, in Target clothes rather than Esprit and Cherrylane!).
I felt alone on many occasions for 2 years.
Once again teenage brain.

Anyway , back on track AGAIN.......

I had an awesome time.
I came home from the BBQ and told Scott everyone was going to the pub.
He said "get in the car. The kids and I will take you. You need time to be YOU".

I am extremely grateful to him, because I had a GREAT time.
Difficult being hungover on Fathers Day BUT still a great time.

In a way I feel like I have "settled" a personal memory.

Probably helps that I am a different person now.

I still complain daily about my weight gain, but I also do not give a shit about "friendship anxiety" now.

So as I go and get ready for dinner I leave you with a conversation I had with Tom today.
TOM: You are the best mum.
ME : Thank you ..... considering I am your only mum ??!!
TOM : Oh yes but I am comparing you to all my friends mum's.

WTF ??!!!

Do not forget the Amelia's Project page on Facebook.
These blogs are only ever posted there.


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