Psych analysis

My apologies for the previous entry.
(I hate the word "blog" ....makes me feel like something you do in the toilet!).

Unfortunately I have been travelling down a very quiet negative pathway for a number of weeks.

I normally steer clear of the "poor us" thoughts but lately they have been dominant and I have been submissive....... (yes. I am reading 50 shades AGAIN!).

Anyway, all jokes aside, I have been feeling very sad about what our life has become.
The what we "can't" do.... rather than the what we "can".
The way our life "could" be...... rather than what it "is".
The "negatives"...... rather than the "positives".

Maybe I should have begun documenting it sooner.
Scott even said "oh great. The whole world knows before I do.".

Writing clears my head and rationalises everything for me.
I am able to articulate it better typing.
I do not understand it myself until I begin writing.

The comments I recieve help greatly too.
I read......I walk away......I think.

Anyway I have settled on a number of reasons for my recent decline.

Healthy eating went out the window over the last 6 weeks.
Emotional eating replaced it AGAIN.
The difference is massive for me (may be my next science experiment).
I feel crap.....I think negative.

My frustration and anger was possibly being channeled through the personal training.
I have done NO exercise for 6 weeks.

I am actually very lucky that I have only put 4 kilo's on from the original 14 I lost.

And finally my last assessment of myself........
Kids constantly for 6 weeks.
I was very spoilt last year.
So much time to rejuvenate.
The children arrive home eager to tell me about their day.
The house was immaculate (unfortunately something I crave).
And I honestly feel that the stimulation that they get from their school environment/s is better than what I can offer.

But......... recent comments point to Amelia and Tom's need for just "our company".

Last weekend we had to pick Amelia up from a sleepever.
A sleepover that she has done since she was 6 weeks old.
It was her nanny and poppy's house.

The reason for her early departure?

She just wanted to be with her "family".

xxx