Thursday 3 March 2011

Confusion

I am confused.

I am hoping that by writing my thoughts I may gain some perspective and then be able to get some sleep tonight.

Since "Amelia's project" page became established there has been a very powerful energy generated from everyone on here. A group of people doing so much to help a cause.
My cause.
I just did not realise it would become publicised to a much broader community.
Our story. Our daughter.
To receive interest from such a large newspaper is unbelievable. But then I think back to when I was so overwhelmed by the support, generosity and help gained from this group and I understand their interest. Once again, all for one little girl.
People on this page have become friends with each other in the last few weeks and are supporting their new friends with their own struggles.

My confusion is that I am proud of an article being published. But what have I got to be proud about? It is being published because my daughter is dying and there is nothing I can do about it. My daughter is having an article written about her because she is very sick. So many emotions about a newspaper article and I am confused about how to feel.

Our life has recently gone back to "normal". Washing loads, shopping and cleaning the house are routine again. There are more cuddles and appreciation of everything but mostly life is like it was before.
Maybe this newspaper has reminded me that our life is not "normal" anymore.

After reading a draft of the article my feelings were happy. Daniel Hoy has written a very positive story about a beautiful little girl who has so much love around her. A major part of the article is about the Ataxia telangiectasia diagnosis. The emphasis of hope, kindness and empathy radiates through the written words.

Maybe I am proud of what our story has created here and you are all going to get the recognition you deserve.

But it is still about Amelia and how very sick she is............

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