In our doctor and specialist appointments, I am regularly asked...
"Do you have a good support network?".
My immediate response is to laugh and say.....
"You have no idea how big it is".
Last night I wrote about something that is very raw and personal.
Each individual can only decide for themselves whether they believe in God or not.
After much emotion and thought I came to a conclusion on my decision.
When I told Scott about what I planned to write about last night he said "No. Don't".
Because he did not want me to offend anyone.
This is my blog.
Whether you choose to read it.... is your decision.
Whether you choose to agree with it..... is your decision.
But rather than crumble and become a depressive mess, I choose to express my feelings as they arise.
I will let them saturate my mind and then I will begin the process of "my solution".
My solution is the avenue I will choose on this "journey" to let me continue each day in a positive manner.
I have had to encounter many thoughts and feelings that anyone would experience if they were told their child had "a terminal illness".
At this point in time, Amelia has a chronic disease that is terminal.
This blog and my "support network" are more beneficial than any weekly psychology session.
When I finish writing, I have completed an explanation not only to you, but also to myself.
I sort out my thoughts while I am writing.
Every morning after I have written a blog like last nights one, I wake up feeling cleansed.
I have come to a conclusion on a thought that was really upsetting me.
This is my way and it is working.
Another part to my therapy is the responses that I recieve.
They do help me get through each and every day.
They do make me feel it is ok to continue writing about my deepest, darkest thoughts.
Many times this year I have been approached about something I have written.
The general consensus is the topics are normally kept private but people are realising we all struggle at some time in our lives.
The difference with me is that I have nothing to lose.
And I have to cleanse my thoughts to continue with the positives.
From the moment I woke up this morning my phone was recieving messages.
My facebook inbox was flooded.
Many people approached me at school drop off.
ALL looking and sounding concerned.
Across the course of the day, after I had flowers delivered to the front door (thankyou Anna.E.) and a 1 hour chat to Ann on Skype, I realised some people believed I was still in a depressive state.
My blog generally helps relieve that feeling.
As I told Ann today, if I am in real trouble and need help, I will definately ask for it.
But sometimes I just need to let myself think of the negatives.
It helps me to justify the positives so much more.
Thank you to everyone for all the support, love and advice.
It helps me get through everyday.
It helps me to remember happiness and having fun.
But I also hope it helps each one of you on your journey in life.
You may not agree with me but hopefully it begins a thought process for your own individual self.