Rollercoaster and Change!

This past week has been a very BIG week.
Both emotionally and physically I have personally found it very draining.
But it has also been a time of many emotions, a lot of them positive.

 Tom started school for the first time EVER.
Amelia started another school year which included attending a special school 2 days a week (her choice). And I have had my first taste of having both children at school .....and me at home.

 Tom has taken to school, so far, better than any of us imagined.
On Friday he walked up to me disappointed after leaving his classroom.
"Why do we have to have weekends??" he asked sadly !!!
He comes home very excited every day to not only tell me every detail of his day but to also excitedly tell me about "who got in trouble".
 He always ends this particular conversation with "and it wasn't me!!".
Then he excitedly wants a high five !!!
(Scott and I may have been seen high fiving each other and shouting woo hoo).

 On Friday Tom came home with a very special notice explaining that he has been chosen to be the "Energy Ranger" monitor for his class.
This means he has to check lights, computers and electronic devices are on/off during the day.
 The role is perfect for Tom who thrives on responsibilty.
The presentation of his badge will be at assembly next week.

 Amelia is happy.
She is tired at the end of each day BUT she is happy.
Normally I pick her up and it breaks my heart to see her so exhausted.
 This week she survived almost 4.5 days.
That is excellent for first week back. T
he excitement of new class, new teacher, seeing her friends again and having Tom at her "mainstream" school has really lifted her spirits.

She also came home one day very excited that she had "won" a MacDonalds toy in a playground game.
A group of girls were also very excited that she had "answered the question in the game correctly".
Those children will never understand the happiness Amelia felt in being included so beautifully but I was able to enjoy her excitement when she came home.

There were mornings of "guilt" on my behalf.
Where I felt guilty that I should not be leaving her at school today.
But I hoped that the school would call me when she was struggling......and they did.
 If she is unable to function or just feels crap, I want her home with me.
 Not feeling like she has to keep pushing herself to continue.

 Her first two days at Special School was a success.
She really enjoyed it.
I cannot possibly explain how friendly and welcoming all of the staff and children are.
 She will be getting physio, OT and speech during her 2 days there.
And swimming (that is why she just HAS to go Tuesdays!).
 Last week she participated in homecrafts (tye dying a piece of silk) and this week Music Therapy.

 Scott is emotional that Amelia chose to colour her silk red and blue. She told him she is making something "just for him in his favorite footy team colours".

 This weekend I started Amelia on a high vitamin/mineral/protein drink for energy.
Thank you to everyone that suggested this to me.
Hopefully it will help her replace all of the energy she burns doing ANYTHING.

 And me?
I really struggled this week with many emotions.
No children at home to talk and play with.
No children at home to keep safely in my care.
 The guilt of being at home while knowing Scott was having a very difficult week at work.
The guilt of Amelia attending school while tired.

 So I cooked really yummy dinners and snacks.
I kept the house spotlessly tidy.
I ran errands I should have done weeks ago.

 But I never sat down.
Not once.
The rest of my family couldn't ....... so I shouldn't.

 Scott and I had a very productive talk on Friday night.
He disputed all of my thoughts and worries and once again showed his support for what I do and have done.

During the week I was able to attend a "parent helpers" meeting at the school.
Enrolments are lower this year for prep than previous years.
One lady , new to the school, addressed the issue of talking to prospective parents.
She suggested NOT mentioning the acceptance of special needs children.
She felt that parents are turned away with this statement and may think that "these" children get more attention than everyone else.

 I do not need to explain how this statement made me feel.

 But upon reflection I am very happy with my analysis of this statement. If prospective parents are "turned away" by this "acceptance" then I am very grateful.

 Out of 500 children at our school there are 21 funded special needs children.
There are probably another 21 unfunded (thank you to our government and special needs acceptance committee).

 My special needs daughter needs to be surrounded by people who embrace her disabilty both physically and emotionally.
Children AND adults.

Narrow minded, discriminatory and judgemental people can go to another school.
 I am glad that our school "weeds out" those who do not accept all children.

 My child has staff members hired to care for her "special needs".
She does not take away teacher attention from anyone else.

 So I am overall very happy with the people who do choose to send their children to our school that accepts children with special needs.

 But I feel sorry for these children who are sent elsewhere because of the "special needs children".

 They will never get to see what these children CAN do, rather than what they cannot.
They will never learn to accept others and not judge someone immediately.

 They will never create a friendship with someone who could teach them SO much.

 xxx

A Zillion Photo's !!!!!!

After much persistence I have finally succeeded in uploading photo's.

Unfortunately  you must now endure MANY !!!!!

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 Amelia's School Christmas Concert. Amelia and Tom are ready to go !!!

                         A very special friend in Amelia's life. Miss Hayley.

A special gift from "Aberlene Limousines".  A special ride home for Amelia from school, on the last day of                    2011 with nine of her friends.

                                             Christmas morning. A very excited little boy.

                 Very graceful on Christmas morning. Sat and soaked up the atmosphere for a minute.

                                                 Extremely happy at Christmas lunch.

                                                       THE special Christmas skirt !!!

                                                   Amelia had her special Poppy (my dad).

                                                          Our one day at the beach.

                                         The crumbed child that kept acting like he knew us !!!!!

                                            Danny and Donna's new baby. Amelia is in love !!!!

                                 A special visit from 2 gorgeous girls who live on the Sunshine Coast.

                                               And then we flew up to stay with their family.

                                              Tom absolutely LOVED the lifestyle up there.

                                                Amelia at Coolum Beach in Queensland.

                                                 Our hosts and us. (7 girls and Tom !!!!)

 My little chef, Tom, making Italian sausage rolls.

Tom's first day of Prep and Amelia's first day of Grade 3.

                                                                 My mum and dad.

                                                                   Scott and his dad.

                                                                              Us.

                                                      Amelia's first day at "special school".

                                                     Just about to enter for her first day.


xxx

First Day AGAIN ........

Firstly, thank you for all he kind messages both yesterday and today.

Secondly, people that told me Tom would get exhausted from school LIED !!!!!

I definately have the two extremes when it comes to our children.
Amelia cannot talk about "her day" while Tom tells me every detail.
Amelia is unable to walk or talk competently at the end of the day but Tom behaves like he has red cordial ALL day.

While I am loving hearing about Tom's adventures, I would really love to hear about Amelia's as well.

It is obvious that Amelia has declined in everything recently.
On the weekend she could not remember where the "forks" were in the kitchen.
I was devastated.

But now we have gone back to "me getting exhausted and confused Amelia" at the end of a school day.

Imagine if it was your daughter...........

Whinge over.

Both children had great days today.
Amelia was very excited and happy this morning.
My dad came and saw her begin.
"This place will be really good for her. Everyone is so friendly" he said with tears in his eyes.
Amelia also had very special visitors from her mainstream school.
She was VERY excited to tell me about this.

Next week she needs to begin "on time" so that she can participate in swimming.
That means Tom and Amelia start at 9am , at two schools 15 minutes travel distance apart.
Where there is a will, there is a way !!!!

Finally, Tom had his first "hip hop" dance lesson tonight.
Hysterical is an understatement.
He LOVED it !!
BUT he is still not exhausted !!

Speak soon

xxx

Big Step

Last night we said good night to our children and experienced a feeling of great sadness.
After over 8 years of at least one child being at home we would now have both at full time school.

The tears flowed.

Today our 5 year old son started prep.

I know he needs the challenge and stimulation.
I know he is going to enjoy attending school.

I just feel that I am losing a part of him.
The innocent, protected and affectionate part.

We were all nervous this morning.
Amelia was feeling protective.
Scott and I felt lost and empty.

I have never seen Tom so nervous and vulnerable as when he stood in line waiting to go into class.

Fast forward to 3:30pm and Tom greeted me with  "You were right mum. I did love school"
with so much happiness and animation.
And he was bouncing !!!!!

Tom has not stopped talking and moving since he came home from his very first day at school.

We are all happy and relieved.

We just needed to survive the very first day.

Now I may let myself soak up a little feeling I had today...............

I was not "busy".
There was nothing to do...............

(do not tell anyone but I think I enjoyed it a little bit!).

Tomorrow is a new day and a new beginning.

Amelia's first day at the special school............

xxx

The start of a new chapter

I can feel the anxiety coming.
It is almost making me shake.....

Another year for Amelia and a new beginning for Tom.
A new beginning for me.

Amelia begins school tomorrow and Tom begins on Monday.
Tomorrow Tom and I will spend our last PRE-school day together before he leaves for full time school.

So many thoughts and so many worries.
So much anticipation and excitement about what is ahead for both children.

But my little man Tom.
He is different.
I worry about him for different reasons than I do Amelia.

Below is a poem I stole off a friend.
I think it explains everything beautifully..............



Dear World: 
I bequeath to you today one little boy in a school uniform. . . with two brown eyes. . .
And a happy laugh that ripples all day long, and a batch of  brown hair that bounces in the sunlight when he runs.

I trust you'll treat him well.

He's slipping out of the backyard of my heart this morning and skipping off down the street to his first day of school.
And never again will he be completely mine. . .

Prim and proud, he'll wave a young and independent hand this morning, and say goodbye and walk with little-boy steps to the nearby schoolhouse. . .

Gone will be the chattering little boy who lived only for play, and gone will be the delightful little boy who roamed the yard like a proud prince with nary a care in her little world.

Now, he will learn to stand in lines. . . and wait by the alphabet for his name to be called. . .
He will learn to tune his little-boy ears for the sound of school bells, and for deadlines. . .
He will learn to whisper and gossip. . .
And to look at the ceiling in a disinterested way when the little girl across the aisle sticks out her tongue.
Now he will learn to be jealous. . . and now he will learn how it is to feel hurt inside. . . and now he will learn how not to cry. . .

No longer will he have time to sit on the front porch steps on a summer day and watch while an ant scurries across a crack in the sidewalk. . .
Or will he have time to pop out of bed with the dawn to kiss lilac blossoms in the morning dew. . .
Now he will worry about important things. . . like grades. . . and what shoes to wear. . . and whose best friend is whose. . .
Now he will worry about the little girl who pulls his hair at recess time. . . and staying after school. . . and which little girls like which little boys. . .

And the magic of books and knowledge will soon take the place of the magic of his blocks and cars.

And he will find new heroes. . .
For five full years I've been his sage and Santa Claus. . . his pal and playmate. . . his mother and his friend. . .
Now, alas, he'll learn to share his worship and adoration with his teachers (which is only right). . .
And no longer will I be the smartest, greatest woman in the world. . .

Today, when the first school bell rings, he'll learn how it is to be a member of the group. . . with all its privileges, and, of course, its disadvantages, too.

He will learn in time that proper young men do not laugh out loud. . . or kiss dogs. . . or keep frogs in pickle jars in bedrooms. . . or watch ants scurry across the cracks in a summer sidewalk. . .

Today, he will begin to learn for the first time that all who smile at him are not his friends. . . That "the group" can be a demanding mistress. . .

And I'll stand on the porch and watch him start out on the long, long journey to becoming a man. . .

So World, I bequeath to you today one little boy in a school uniform and two brown eyes. . .
And a happy laugh that ripples all day long, and a batch of  brown hair that bounces in the sunlight when he runs.

I trust you'll treat him well.


AUTHOR UNKNOWN


xxx

Friends

After repeatedly trying to upload photo's each week....
I GIVE UP.

I can do it on Facebook but cannot do it here.

So I decided to share another persons piece of writing with you.
It is something that someone posted recently .
The original author is unknown.

Many of my friends have struggled with "true friendship" recently.
Friends that love and accept you for who you are.
Friends that stand by you through the good and the bad.
Friends that make you feel comfortable and help you to smile.

I think this poem explains all types of friendship perfectly.


Reason, Season, Lifetime

People always come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,
It is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty,
Or to provide you with guidance and support,
To aid you physically, emotionally, or even spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend to you, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
This person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they just walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON,
It is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.
They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
And like Spring turns to Summer and Summer to Fall,
The season eventually ends.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
Those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person anyway;
And put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas in your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being part of my life,
Whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

Author – Unknown

School/s

I have just returned from another weekend at the "flat".

I know how lucky I am to have the opportunity to get away and rejuvenate.
Lucky enough to have a place to escape to and lucky enough that I have a husband who says "GO".

I spent the time alone, watching "gossip girl" (sad I know!) and thinking about everything.

Every time I go it is for one reason only.
I am negative, snappy and need to remove myself from everyone.

Upon my return today I was ready for the next chapter in our lives.

Feeling positive and content again.

The next chapter?

Tom begins school.
Mentioned many times.

Amelia is also beginning another year of school.
Very difficult for her because she does find it hard.

But this year SHE has also requested to attend a local special school two times a week.

Many of you may remember I took Amelia for a visit last December.
It is a school that takes children with physical disibilities and deteriorating health.
The class Amelia was welcomed into was still learning to read and write.
They could all handle a conversation......and they were smart.
She fitted in immediately.
ALL of them have been dealt with such horrible illnesses and yet they loved life.
She was not the only one with a walking frame.
She was not the only one who owns a wheelchair.
She was not the only one that takes longer to speak.

She was equal to everyone else.

When I asked her which day she would like to attend in 2012 she asked to see the timetable.
Amelia decided that she liked the activites and subjects on Tuesdays AND Wednesdays so she will "go two days please".

Her choice.

I explained that she will only go to her "mainstream " school three days a week then.
"I know" she said (looking at me confidently).

So it is organised and she is excited.
She still gets to stay with everyone she knows in "mainstream" but gets to be with others "like" her.

So now I have two different schools to attend morning and afternoon on Tuesdays and Wednesdays but I look forward to watching BOTH my children grow and develop this year.

xxx